… Pat Robertson will predict the future:

“If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms,” Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, “There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.”

You may be interested to know, after consulting with a particularly crunchy booger recently excavated from my left nostril, that I have some predictions of my own.

The booger spake unto me thusly, “Nate, this summer, there shall be tornados in the Midwest. Hurricaines shall lash the Gulf and Atlantic coasts of thy country. Political upheaval shall occur in November. Verily, I say unto thee, record cold temperatures may even afflict the northermost reaches of thy state, and in 2007, the Bush Dynasty will come to an end. Be forewarned, as these signs bespeak the coming of the Unnameable One, and thou shalt know that the end of thy world approacheth.”

Talking to a booger got a little sketchy at that point, so I flicked it in the trash. I’ll put my booger’s prophecy up against Pat Robertson any day of the week, though. And then I’ll hit him in his face with a shovel, because he’s a fucking twat.